Helping Your Teen Overcome Procrastination

It’s Sunday night… And once again your teen has waited until the last minute to start, and try to finish, a big project for class that’s due tomorrow morning.
 
If situations such as this one – cramming for tests at the eleventh hour, always saying he or she will do something “later,” or similar scenarios – are commonplace in your household, your teen may be dealing with a procrastination problem.
 
But, there’s no reason for you to wait to help your teen!
 
What Causes Procrastination?
 
Procrastination – or putting off tasks until the last possible minute – is not a behavior that’s limited to teenagers… But why do both teens and adults procrastinate?
 
We often delay tasks when we don’t understand how long they will take.  
Those who suffer from anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress.  
A simple lack of motivation to start a task and being either unaware of or not caring about the consequences of inaction can lead to procrastination.  
While these reasons for procrastination are by no means limited to teens and adolescents, procrastination is a behavior that often begins in early adolescence.
 
Most parents of teens are all too aware of their teens’ increased attempts to achieve self-empowerment by resisting parental authority. And these efforts to resist parental authority take both active (such as being argumentative) and passive (such as delaying to take action) form.
 
How many times has your teen said, “I’ll do it in a minute,” or “Just wait a sec!” for you to discover that these minutes and seconds are actually hours or days?
 
If your teen “gets away with” these delaying tactics, he or she can quickly learn that simply promising to do something “later” can be an effective strategy for not having to do something that he or she doesn’t want to do.
 
Unfortunately, teen procrastination invariably leads to problems at work, school, or home.
 
The Problems with Procrastination
 
There are two types of procrastination…
 
Resistant procrastination – Delaying a task until “later” – which often ends up being the last minute – but still finally getting the task done.  
Refusal procrastination – Putting a task on “permanent hold” – pretending “later” will never come – and never completing the task.  
While many people practice the former from time to time, both forms of procrastination can be costly. For example, the delay caused by simply putting off what one dislikes or fears only lengthens the time one has to worry about getting the task done. Thus, procrastination creates more anxiety and stress than relief.
 
The goal of procrastination may be to escape an immediate obligation, demand, or need to work, but there’s a trap… Even if the task gets done in the end, procrastination adds to the stress and pressure of ordinary demands and causes them to take much longer than necessary.
 
In the worst-case scenario, teens and adolescents can get into what is known as “catastrophic functioning.” Catastrophic functioning is the use of delay and avoidance to create last minute crises in order to motivate one’s self to do whatever it is that must be done. In short, creating stress to enable accomplishment. And when catastrophic functioning becomes routine, discomfort, fatigue, burnout, and even breakdown are likely to follow.
 
How You Can Help Your Teen
 
While procrastination may be “honestly come by” – since most of us first learn to procrastinate as part of our attempts at self-empowerment and resisting authority during our early adolescence – it’s a behavior that becomes more costly the longer its practiced.
 
Come late adolescence, routine procrastination is no longer about rebelling against parental and other external authority… It becomes an act of rebelling against one’s own authority over one’s self and results in either taking forever to do what one tells one’s self to do or never getting it done at all. And it can lay the foundation for much unnecessary adult lifestyle stress.
 
Fortunately, you can help save your teen from this fate… But how?
 
Parents often try to help teens overcome procrastination by using a system of rewards and punishments. But, thanks to the underlying reasons behind procrastination that we’ve already covered, these solutions rarely work as well as parents hope, leaving both teens and their parents confused and frustrated.
 
So, how can you help your teen to stop procrastinating, if that is something he or she wants to do?
 
1. Recognize the problem – The first step to helping your teen overcome procrastination is to recognize it. Pay attention to your child’s behaviors, especially when it comes to how they go about getting done what needs to be done. If your teen knows something needs doing but seems to avoid it altogether, they’re procrastinating. Does your teen feel guilty? Are they exhibiting any signs of anxiety, stress, or depression? Procrastination can be both cause of and a crutch for dealing with all of these feelings.  

2. Help your teen practice time management – As we discussed, one of the most common reasons for procrastination is simply not understanding how long tasks will take and how to budget our time accordingly. Help your teen prioritize his or her time so that it is as productive as possible… And include time for play. This may include helping them break down large or complex projects into manageable tasks, making use of a calendar or planner, and setting objectives and goals each night for the next day. This being said, you need to make sure the goals are clear and come from your teen. Teens need to take ownership of their goals and want to achieve them in order to get the work done and not procrastinate.  

3.  Look for personal difficulties – If helping your teen learn time management skills isn’t enough, there may be something else going on. As we said, those suffering from anxiety or perfectionistic tendencies often procrastinate as a means of coping with stress. Peer pressure, low self-esteem, divorce, a death in the family, alcohol or drug abuse, ADHD, financial problems at home, and a whole host of other issues may result in your teen’s procrastination. If your child is experiencing anything or exhibits any personality traits that may underlie their procrastination, support them and help them overcome those things, including seeking the help of a teen counselor or psychologist.  

4.  Help your teen find their motivation – Motivation comes easily when a person is doing something that’s important to him or her. And if your teen isn’t motivated to complete a task, procrastinating that task is a likely outcome. This is the one place where rewards can be helpful… If the task a teen must complete isn’t important, work with your teen to create a reward for completing the task that your teen wants.  

5.  Let your teen experience the consequence of procrastination – If all else fails, let your teen fail. Though it may be hard to do, allowing your teen to experience the negative outcomes of procrastinating may be the best way for him or her to learn a valuable lesson—and become more responsible. Letting your teen suffer the negative consequences of his or her inaction may be just what they need to recognize that their behavior needs to change.  
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If your teen’s procrastination is severe to the point of being disabling – meaning that “nothing important gets done” – you may want to address this self-defeating behavior as an addiction and seek professional help.
 
However, unless your teen is experiencing some type of personal problem that can benefit from the assistance of a teen or family counselor or psychotherapist, the best course of action is often a gradual one…
 
Each time your teen procrastinates, just begin the task a little sooner than normal. Instead of fighting the habit, start a new one. Let him or her procrastinate, only slightly less than normal by moving up the starting time. As the old habit of procrastinating is slowly worn away, your teen will be able to practice better time management, be more productive, and experience less stress and more free time. And as they do, be sure to ask them how they feel and help them reflect on their newfound peace of mind!
 
Teen procrastination can be vicious cycle and a difficult problem to solve. However, with persistence, patience, and support, you can help your teen take ownership of both his or her successes and failures, overcome procrastination, and move forward into adulthood with self-confidence and optimism.